


[PODFIC] Birthday Prank

by 2x2verse (agent_florida)



Series: suddenly, voiceacting [3]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Exhibitionism, M/M, Masturbation, Podfic, Podfic Length: 0-10 Minutes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-05
Updated: 2014-03-05
Packaged: 2018-01-14 16:17:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1272970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agent_florida/pseuds/2x2verse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>i can explain</p>
            </blockquote>





	[PODFIC] Birthday Prank

**Author's Note:**

> no i can't

Okay. This is—this is dumb. Okay. It’s giving me the red light, I think that means it’s recording.

Okay. Uh. So… it’s my birthday. And you’re not here. You’ve been on the road for like, two weeks, doing promo stuff? Which is really cool and I’m really proud of you! But it kind of sucks when you’re on Jimmy Fallon and I already know all the stupid jokes you’re gonna use. I already know all the stupid stuff you’re gonna say. And, uh… I know what that voice sounds like in the middle of the night when you’re trying to keep it down. So that’s, that’s hard to watch.

But, uh. It’s my birthday. And I, I figured I might as well celebrate. I think you got me this for a joke? But I’m gonna show you right now, this isn’t—this isn’t a fucking joke. I’m… I’m gonna do this. I—I’m gonna do this. Okay.

This is only the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever done, so please… don’t show this to anyone.

It’s not, uh. It’s not quite the same as, uh, as when you do it. I actually, uh. I, I uh. I like that your—that your fingers are—unh. They’re smaller than mine. Makes this part, uh. Makes this part easier. _Oh god. Oh fuck._ Not, uh. Hah-hah. Not quite so easy when I don’t, uh. Don’t have the right angle, but, uh. Ah-hah, there it goes.

Dude, when you’re—when you’re watching this, you better be jacking off. I know you like to be, to be the one that does this part, but, uh. You’re not here, so uh—this is gonna be what you get.

Okay, this is, uh. This is kinda big, so uh. Just gonna kinda, uh. _Oh, it’s hard to breathe_. Gotta kinda, uh, get used to it first. Right there. Uh-huh. Oh, just like that. Oh, fuck me. Oh, oh _Dave_. Oh, oh fuck me. Oh, fuck—oh, _I’m gonna—I’m gonna cum_ —Ohhhhhhhh, fuuuuuuuuuck!

Heh, okay, so, uh. So that’s. Jesus fucking Christ, happy birthday to me. Too bad you, uh. Too bad you weren’t here to, uh, see that, but uh. I’m gonna email this to you. And if you ever show another goddamn soul, I’m gonna castrate you. And I’m gonna use that and shove it up my ass next time. So, uh. Hah. God I miss you.


End file.
